Love is a Verb

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about love. What is love? What does it really mean to love? When we say, “I love the Detroit Pistons, or Diet Pepsi Jazz, or my wife’s lasagna,” what does that suggest, if anything about other objects of my affection such as my wife, my kids, my church, or God?

I have wondered and worried this past month about what I could do for Donna this Valentine’s Day to convey to her how much I love her. What convinces Donna she is loved, treasured, cherished by me? How do I love my wife? More than the idea or feelings of love, how do I demonstrate to my bride I love her? How do I say to her that she has no competitors for my heart’s devotion? Is there enough evidence in my life to convict me of love in the first degree for my wife?

Saying “I love you” is nice, but is that all there is to love? If I say to Donna, “I love you,” every morning and every evening and countless times through the course of every day, is that enough? Surely love is more than a declaration, more than words spoken, sung, or put on paper. I mean, it’s a start, but merely saying the words does not a lover make me.

Perhaps the fact that I need her so much is proof I love her. I need her smile, her wit, her wisdom, her hugs. I need her near me to complete me, to protect me from myself, to encourage me and to cheer me on. But love cannot be defined by our need for the person or object we claim to love. That is actually selfish when we think about it.

In my quest to define love for my sweetheart, I have landed on a place of deep commitment and challenge. I come most near to loving her in a way that she feels loved when I invest myself in discovering what pleases her and then set myself to presenting that pleasure to her. Seems simple enough, but if I really want to show Donna I love her, a good place to start would be to ask, “Honey, when do you feel most loved by me?” Take care, however, that if the question is asked, there must be a commitment to act on what she says.

For instance, if I know that my wife feels loved by me when I spend time with her, when I rub her feet, or when I pray with her, well … love would prompt me to do so. If I know she feels loved when I help with tasks around the house or give my time and attention to our kids, love acts on that knowledge. If I learn she doesn’t want more jewelry or would be upset about our finances if I bought her a car, but that simply planning and taking a day or two away together fills her love cup to overflowing, not only do I save money, but I invest in our happiness when I hit the road with my beloved. In fact, if I know what pleases her but do not do that under the guise of finding the perfect gift, then I have actually shunned the perfect gift for my own ego’s sake. And that would not be love.

I learned a long time ago that if I truly love my wife, I could not play softball eight nights a week. I had to adjust my routine to accommodate her desires. Love is more than words. Love is more than feelings. Love is more that stuff. Love is a verb, an action verb. Love is demonstrated or proven authentic by the actions love takes. The Bible says, “we must not love in words or speech, but in deed and truth” (1 John 3:18).

How do we love God? For many of us, we almost instinctively answer the question by finishing the statement: We are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our strength, and with all our mind. Bravo! Jesus did in fact declare this to be the first and greatest commandment. But what in the world does that look like? What sets of attitudes, what sort of behavior will typify our lives if we love God with our whole being?

Perhaps some church people would follow up with: Well, if we love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our strength, and with all our mind, then we are supposed to love our neighbor as we do ourselves. So, if we really love God we will love our neighbor. In fact, some would say we cannot honestly claim to love God unless that devotion moves us to love our neighbor. I would add, we cannot love our neighbor as ourselves until we love God first. But the question remains unanswered even still. How do we love our neighbors? What is love?

What are the indications in a person’s life that they do indeed truly love God? What if we were to ask God, “Lord, how could we show You we love you? What if God were to say, “Do this and I will know you love Me.” Well, actually, Jesus does say as much. He says:

If you love Me, show it by doing what I have told you. … the person who knows My commandments and keeps them, that’s who loves Me. … if a person loves me, he will carefully keep My word … Not loving Me means not keeping My words. … If you loved Me, you would be glad that I am on My way to the Father because the Father is the goal and purpose of My life (John 14:15-28, The Message).

If we love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our strength, and with all our mind, then we will manifest that love in at least these three ways:

1. We will commit ourselves to know what He expects.

2. We will commit ourselves do what He expects.

3. We will commit ourselves to rejoice in His ways, even when we don’t feel His presence or understand His process.

To the ends of the earth until the end of time!

Pastor Rob