God in Our Fathers

“When a man becomes a father, he is given the greatest opportunity to express what God is like.” So reads the inscription my wife wrote in a Bible she gave me on the occasion of my ordination as a minister of the Gospel, June 21, 1987. The real message my wife was sending, however, must be seen in the context of our lives.

Sure, a Bible makes a great gift for a young pastor. Her note on the inside cover, however, was a reminder to her husband, and a new father (our first of five children was eight months old at the time) that God would not want me to miss the most pliable clay I would ever have the honor to handle, to shape, and to mold for His glory – my own children. I could easily give eight nights a week to church-related activity, and perhaps over a long career influence a handful of people to follow Jesus. I would never find anyone, however, who would be as receptive and responsive as my own children.

The truth is, perhaps no other relationship defines or shapes our views about God more than our relationship with our dads. How we saw Dad when we were children is very much the way we tend to see God as adults. If Dad laughed and hugged us a lot, we half-expect God to bound into the room and sweep us up in His majestic arms. If Dad spent time with us and seemed genuinely interested in our lives, we are not surprised that Almighty God is keen on us and wants us to be with Him.

On the other hand, if Dad seemed distant, aloof, or too busy for us as kids, then we have a hard time grasping the Creator King’s passion for a personal, intimate relationship with us. If we perceived Dad as stern or hard to please, then we unconsciously tend to think God is angry, judgmental, or difficult – an Idea we may someday gradually come to appreciate but never really embrace. We approach God according to ideas about Him and about ourselves that were introduced and refined by how we related to Dad, for better or for worse.

I once wrote in my journal: “When I think that my children’s perspectives of God are colored by their relationship with me, I tremble.” Now in my twenty-first year of fatherhood I add: “O God, help me continue to be and become the kind of daddy whose children are drawn to You and joyfully anticipate their daily dance with God our Father for eternity.”